One of the main concerns I hear from patients is how to handle problems in relationships, especially marriage counseling. It is often hardest to get along with the people you care about.
Some common relationship pitfalls include avoidance. This can involve not bringing up problems at all until resentment has grown too strong, and then getting so angry that no positive communication can take place.
Need to be right. Without realizing it, conflicts get reduced to the idea that someone is right and someone is wrong. Then all the energy goes into proving that youre right and the other person is wrong, which leaves no grounds for effective communication or compromise.
Always or Never. If you're often starting sentences with you always or you never, you're probably incorrect and putting the other person on the defensive, often stopping problem solving. This includes bringing up past conflicts, which can confuse the current issue under discussion.
Not listening. How many times have you been in a conversation where you find yourself not listening to what the other person is saying because youre busy planning what you're going to say next? This results in not hearing what the other person is saying. Its important to understand your own style of communication, as well as that of the person you're in a relationship with. An important part of talking is to not defend yourself or your arqument. Listen to the other person with an open mind.
For marriage and family counseling in Traverse City, call me today at (231) 947-5234